Sort of Like a Joke

There's this site where they sell what they call "Right Wing Stuff", see, and they're apparently trying to engage in political satire.

I know for a fact that there are funny conservatives. I've read P.J. O'Rourke's stuff, and he's pretty good. But these guys literally don't seem to understand the concept.

They know, for instance, that satire often involves taking a familiar statement and rearranging the words a little, or substituting different words, so they create "Feminism is the radical notion that feminists are women".

Um, well, not all of us, no, and anyway, weren't you trying to make some kind of a joke? Preferably with a serious political point behind it?

They go on like this, T-shirt after bumper sticker after coffee cup, and I keep on scratching my head, thinking, "Do even people who still support Bush like these things? Do they think people will think they are funny?"

Puzzling.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "I don't know either."\\

One Last Chance

That dirty little crook Bill Frist is pulling one more scam, rushing to a vote on Samuel Alito's appointment to the Supreme Court on Monday afternoon.

Ron Wyden, (202) 224-5244, is my Senator, and I'm phoning him to thank him for pledging to vote against Sammy the Kingmaker, and urging him to go for the filibuster.

You should find out who your Senator is and urge him/her to do the same.

Now, while it's still not too late.

Later, after it is too late, go to Patch Adams's web site and find out what you can still do to make the world a better place.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Mixed signals".\

January Sky

I was riding my bike home at the end of a night shift. The sky was clear and Venus was high and bright as a morning star. I stopped by the side of the road, looking up at that bright, beautiful beacon, and wept.

No, that didn't happen on January 28th, 1986.

It was February 1st, 2003.

But that was when I wept for both crews.

And for the rest of us.

//The Magic 8-ball says, "Don't mourn. Organize."\\

Family Values

U.S. troops are kidnapping family members of Iraqi resistance fighters.

And what are they doing with them...?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Are you sure you want to know?"\\

Unreasonable, Not Probable

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. "

What part of this does General Michael Hayden not understand?

Pretty clearly, it's the "probable cause" part.

Does anybody still think these people are conservatives?

Is it time to question their patriotism?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You already know the answer."\\

A Whiff of Justice (Not Around Here)

Change comes rapidly across latin America, in spite of a U.S. administration that would rather it didn't.

Meanwhile, Linda Loaiza's case continues to grind slowly, slowly through reluctant Venezuelan courts. No, it's not all over and done with.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Be patient".\\

Open Net, Insert Boot

The Internet the way it is now, only faster, would be cool.

The Internet as a spiffy high-speed corporate-media venue...not so hot.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You know what you should do."\\

People Oughta Do Stuff

Wal-Mart oughta stop sticking the taxpayers for their employees' health insurance.

Election officials oughta protect the integrity of the ballot.

Kathe's son Jake thinmks people oughta check out David Perdue's Charles Dickens page. Certainly people who like Dickens oughta.

People who like angels, vampires or other seducitve creatures with wings oughta check out Donna Barr's collection of watercolors at http://www.flickr.com

Bush oughta find a new game to play.

You oughta be impressed by what people can do with just (stacked-up) pennies.

Yahoo and MSN oughta borrow Google's pair.

Once in a great while, you really oughta forward one of those "forward this to everyone you know" e-mails.

And yes, I oughta do a post that isn't just a bunch of links people e-mailed to me, but hey....

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Do what you can."\\

Industorious Indeed

Check out Yugo Nakamura's Industorious (sic) Clock.

Taking It With You

Kathe's son Jake sent me this link, and appended this comment:

"Mr Pizer, please wake up now... You've been frozen for 150 years, but your
Cryo company went under about 80 years ago. Actually that company has been
bought and sold a number of times. You actually spent a few weeks in a
meat locker in Chicago until a new facility could be found. Unfortunately
we were legally obligated to dip into your "inheritance" to pay for
emergency cooling and relocation. You still have a few dollars left, but
after converting them into American Yen, it looks like you will have to go
back to work. Mr Pizer? Are you listening to me? Ah... yes, where is the
rest of your body? Well, you see after the last market crash the Cryo
industry was forced to make a few, um, cutbacks. What now? Well, Mr.
Pizer, you've lucked into a wonderful Brave New World, you know. You've
been assigned to the circus with all the others. You'll be pulled by
trained monkeys round the ring on a special cart along with the other
heads. It doesn't pay all that well, but it will keep the feeding tube
flowing and cover any back taxes owing. And it does make the children
laugh! Mr. Pizer? Now don't be angry with me Mr. Pizer..."

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Go check with my Cousin Television, see if Futurama is on."\\

A Miner's Life

Miner's life is like a sailor's
'Board a ship to cross the wave;
Every day his life's in danger,
Still he ventures being brave.
Watch the rocks, they're falling daily,
Careless miners always fail;
Keep your hands upon the dollar
And your eye upon the scale

You've been docked and docked, my boys,
You've been loading two for one;
What have you to show for working
Since this mining has begun?
Overalls, and cans for rockers,
In your shanties sleep on rails.
Keep your hand upon the dollar
And your eye upon the scale

Soon this trouble will be ended,
Union men will have their rights,
After many years of bondage,
Digging days and digging nights.
Then by honest weight we labor,
Union miners never fail;
Keep your hand upon the dollar
And your eye upon the scale

In conclusion, bear in memory,
Keep the password in your mind.;
God provides for every nation,
When in union they combine.
Stand like men and linked together,
Victory for you will prevail,
Keep your hand upon the dollar
And your eye upon the scale

CHORUS:
Union miners, stand together,
Heed no operator's tale;
Keep your hand upon the dollar
And your eye upon the scale

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Prospects murky."\\

Why DeLay Any Longer?

When we have Roy Blunt, John Shadegg and John Boehner to handle Tom DeLay's corruption-as-usual?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Honesty is the best policy".\\

WeirdSat

I'm sure I've seen at least one SF magazine cover with a ghostly image of an empty spacesuit on it....

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Truth is stranger than fiction".\\

A Cleansing Rant

The Rant of the Year.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "And what are you going to do about it?"\\

Say No to Alito -- Someone Might Even Listen

The sunrise was beautiful this morning. Even from street level it was gorgeous, and from up here in the lookout tower, it was miraculous.

I haven't read Samuel Alito's entire resume. It's sufficient to me that he bragged in his resume, applying for a job in the Reagan White House, that he was a member of Concerned Alumni of Princeton.

In fact, it's enough for me that he applied for a job in the festering pit of corruption and incompetence that was the Reagan White House, but that's another matter.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You don't have to eat the whole egg to know it's rotten."\\

Surprises

I was surprised by a conversation with a classmate the other day. I observed that for his birthday this year, Dr. King was getting Samuel Alito, and she said, "Who?"

I got as far as saying that he was Bush's current Supreme Court nominee and she said, "I don't have any interest in politics." I'd heard people say things like that before, but this time I was really struck by how far apart her view of the world is from mine. To me, a mentally-sound adult who has no interest in politics is as odd (and possibly as reprehensible) as an able-bodied adult who has no interest in working.

I pressed on, pointing out that Alito is expected to be the swing vote to overturn Roe v. Wade
, and she said, "I'm absolutely pro-life, but I don't think that's ever going to happen."

I was polite, and refrained from pointing out that it's pretty damn easy to call yourself "pro-life" if you presume that the issue will never come up in real life.

She's a young single woman. I could have said some things that could have really hurt her feelings. But I didn't.

But I was surprised.

On the lighter side, it's also surprising how few people are aware that The Matrix is a remake of a 1975 TV-movie. Alas, in those days the special effects were not really up to the task, as you can see in this musical interlude from late in the film.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "People go to Hell for lying, you know."\\

Break Out Those Band-Aids

Kathe sent me this:

"The Huffington Post has learned the Bush administration recently asked high ranking military leaders to denounce Congressman John Murtha. Congressman Murtha has called for the Bush Administration to withdraw US troops from Iraq.

The Bush Administration first attacked Rep. Murtha for his Iraq views by associating him with the filmmaker Michael Moore and Representative Jean Schmidt likened him to a coward on the floor of the House of Representatives. When those tactics backfired, Dick Cheney called Murtha “A good man, a marine, a patriot and he’s taking a clear stand in an entirely legitimate discussion.” Though the White House has backed off publicly, administration officials have nevertheless recently made calls to military leaders to condemn the congressman. So far they have refused."

So, faced with an outbreak of integrity and loyalty to their real friends among the military brass, what's the Administration to do about John Murtha?

Why, swiftboat him, of course!

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "There is someone else you should be asking."\\

Something Funny For a Change

There's a searchlight over near the OSU campus, making a beautiful display against the low-lying clouds over Corvallis. I sit here in the lookout tower and think about Judge Samuel Alito, and find that I don't feel up to saying anything about him. Especially since the gastroenteritis has already made my stomach pretty delicate. I'd rather write about something funny.

Like a hidden canteen in the form of a beer belly. Well, I think it's funny, anyway.

And it's not the only funny thing to be seen at Gizmodo, either.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Smile, though your heart is aching."\\

Cruel Mockery

But well deserved.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "True."\\

Staggering Off to School

But managing.

Last week, in a comment, Peni Griffin mentioned frequent consultation of baby name books (knowing her, that would be for the names of characters, rather than the other kind of baby). Here's another source.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Excuse me, I'd prefer to be known henceforth as Beige Toaster."\\